Yes, It was planned

This is the question I get most of all when people find out I am pregnant. I know this is a legitimate question because of my age and all the other things that have transpired at the same time, such as Aubrey being pregnant also. I have put off writing this post because of the sacredness of the experience I am about to share. But, have felt like I need to share these things.
After I had Haylee, I was very content with my four children. I had two girls and two boys. I felt like I could be done and be absolutely happy. When Haylee turned 3, both Jonathan and I felt that we needed to pray about our decision to make things permanent.
So we both prayed about it together. At this time, I was given a very special experience. Nothing like this has happened to me before or since. I was told in my mind that we were not done that we still have a son waiting to join our family.It was not something that I can even describe. It was a feeling that filled my whole body not so much words but feelings and a complete understanding that this little boy needed to join our family.
So, Jonathan and I wanted to be obedient and we did what we could to obey. It took me a long time to get pregnant which is not like me at all. Almost 3 years went by since I had received that very special witness. I wondered if I would ever get pregnant. But, I never questioned the witness that was given to me that I was to have another child.
When I became pregnant with my 5th child, we were excited. We had waited a long time for this to happen.I just knew this was my little boy. When we went in for the ultrasound and they told me I was having a little girl, I was stunned. I called for another ultrasound tech to come and give me a second opinion. The wind had been knocked out of my sails. I was happy with four. I was willing to do 5 because that is what the Lord wanted. So to find out I was having a girl was very confusing to me.I love my babies but DO NOT like being pregnant. It is so hard on my body. It is hard on me mentally, emotionally, physically. At the time I pretty much told the Lord that he missed his chance to allow that baby boy to come to our family and that if he wanted him to come it would have to be another way.(I know counseling the Lord is not a good idea.I am just glad he is patient with me.)
So we had Adalyn and she has brought us so much joy and happiness. I am so thankful she is part of our family. She is my girl with tons of personality.
Well, life went on. Aubrey got married and I was still counseling the Lord. My prayers would go like this.Okay, Lord you want me to have a boy than you have got to figure out another way to bring him to our family because I am to old to be pregnant and I don't like it. My prayers than changed to Lord I am not going to get off birth control so if you want me to be pregnant, you have got to figure a way around that.( yes, I was trying to bargain with God.)
All I can say is that the Lord puts people in our lives to help us make the right decisions, even if those decisions are hard ones. So my sweet sister who already knew this whole story came to me and told me to think of that sweet spirit who wants a body. In the long grand scheme of things, this small sacrifice to choose to become pregnant is very small.Now, I say choose here because it still had to be my choice. The Lord has given me free agency and it needed to be my choice. I knew she was right.
So, on Halloween of 2011 I went and had my IUD pulled. That was a big decision for me. But, I knew it was right. 7 months later I still was not pregnant.I have really got to admit that I had been relieved for all these months.
Than one Sunday at the end of May, we were all sitting around the dinner table and Aubrey announced to all of us that she was pregnant. I was very excited for her but, my next thought was maybe our little boy was reassigned to Aubrey and Alex. I told Jonathan that I would not be pregnant with my child and I was going to make an appointment with the doctor to get my IUD put back in. Well, two days later I found out I was pregnant also. We are both having little boys in February.
I have gone through so many emotions with this pregnancy. I get all kinds of comments from lots of different people. Some of them good, some of them not. I have just tried to remember that My Heavenly Father's will is not always what I thought I wanted but he knows best. I have fully put my trust in the Lord and allowed my will to be swallowed up in his.
I already love this little boy so very much. He is what will complete my family. I am very excited to meet him.

3 of each

So it looks like we are making things even here, 3 boys and 3 girls. But, I have known this little boy has wanted to come to this family for many years now. Anyway, I am excited to meet him. Plus, he will have a nephew as soon as he is born. Aubrey is also having a boy. Babies, babies everywhere. Now, the hard part is coming up with a name that we like.

Adalyn's drawing

Adalyn drew this picture on the shower door this morning. She spends more time drawing pictures than actually bathing. It is so cute. She said "this is a picture of mommy and my baby brother in your tummy."
Can you tell?

Conversation with Adalyn

Adalyn says some of the funniest things. This was today's funny conversation.
"Adalyn you need to stop crying. Stop acting like a pill."
"Mom I can not peel. I am not a banana."
These kind of things come out of her mouth on a daily basis. She is great!

Adalyn starts preschool

My baby has started preschool. She loves it!! She comes home everyday and talks about it for hours and sings the new songs she has learned all day long..

Father of the Bride 2

This movie describes our life over the past year. We have taken on new roles that we have never done before. We had become In-laws and now our newest role that we get to have is that of grandparents.. Aubrey is due the beginning of February. We are excited but, I must admit the idea of that role has been a bit hard to accept. I sure don't feel like I can be called Grandma yet. Hmmm.. Any suggestions on different names that won't make me feel so old? Now to reference the movie again this is what we will both look like in a few months.

Yes! I am also pregnant and due 2 weeks after Aubrey. All I can say is WOW! I will be an old Mama and a young grandmother. Heaven help me!!!

Meet Fynn

This is the newest member of our family, well for the year anyway. He is our foreign exchange student from Germany. He will stay with us until June. So far it has been really great having him. He has fit into the family nicely. So, if you want to brush up on your German, come for a visit.

An Epiphany for me

I am trying to find joy in my daily life, in my mundane routines of being a mother. It doesn't change much for me. There is always dishes that need to be done, laundry that needs to be folded. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner. I go grocery shopping and pick up after kids and clean bathrooms. But, in my reading today I came across a scripture that helped change some of my perspective, for today atleast.
I have read this scripture many times but today it has different meaning for me.
It is Alma 32:37-39
37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.
39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your aground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.

I thought of this in a different way today. I thought of this in how I am raising my children. This is what I am doing for my children everytime I obey the commandments like having prayer with them, reading scriptures, praising them, discussing gospel topics. I am nourishing their tree and helping the roots grow deeply and that it takes work and part of that is the mundane everyday tasks.
The rewards of my faith is to see all my children with me in the Celestial kingdom. That is my greatest joy. I think I have a glimpse of what my father in heaven might see and feel.

Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments

Do you ever find something that is life changing,something like a book or an article or even a person? Well, I found that in an article by Jeffery R. Holland called "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments." I learned things I never thought of before. I learned new ways to be able to teach the children I have been entrusted with and I was directed to this article by my sweet daughter Aubrey. There are so many good things in this, so many.
i loved this quote.
‎"It has been declared in the solemn word of
revelation, that the spirit and the body constitute
the soul of man; and, therefore, we should look
upon this body as something that shall endure in
the resurrected state, beyond the grave,
something to be kept pure and holy. Be not afraid
of soiling its hands; be not afraid of scars that
may come to it if won in earnest effort, or [won]
in honest fight, but beware of scars that disfigure,
that have come to you in places where you ought
not have gone, that have befallen you in
unworthy undertakings [pursued where you
ought not have been]; beware of the wounds of
battles in which you have been fighting on the
wrong side." [Talmage, CR, October 1913, p. 117]

Family Pictures

It has been quite a few years since we have had decent family pictures. I think the last time Haylee was 4 years old and we had one of Devin's friends take the picture. HAHA.

Well, Aubrey and Alex came for a visit and I was going to try my hardest to get family pictures done. The day we chose was supposed to be a nice day. Well, it wasn't. The wind was blowing hard and it was 40 degrees outside. But, we chose to do it anyway. For the most part it was fine, except Adalyn wanted nothing to do with smiling or getting her picture taken. She kept saying "I'm COLD!!" So, I said I would be happy if we got one good one. Well, here is the result. Hopefully we can try again when the weather warms up and Aubrey comes for another visit.







Adalyn refused to get in the picture. She just wanted me to hold her. So, all my kids except for her. oh well!

If you can call it a job

At the end of December I got the best part time job ever. This is my job description.
1. Love Basketball, especially the Utah Jazz.
2. Help get the crowd excited during time outs and at half time.
3. Be willing to act crazy and have fun.
4. Be able to run up and down the stairs in the arena to give out free merchandise.
This is basically the job description. So, I get paid to watch the Jazz play basketball. This is the best job ever!!! I absolutely LOVE it..
The only downside to it is ugly uniforms..

sometimes

Sometimes life feels very lonely. Sometimes I am tired of putting on the face that everything is great when it is not. It is hard not feeling like I have any real friends, nobody that I feel like I can share my problems with, without feeling like I am burdening them.It's hard living in a place for a year and a half and not feeling included in my ward and neighborhood. I feel like I have really tried. But, there is the dang clique. Do adults really have cliques? This has been a hard transition, one that we have prayed about and felt good about but, it has been so hard!! I am trying, trying , trying but today I am tired... Tired of so many things. But, to even say them aloud or in writing brings on tremendous guilt because I shouldn't feel tired of being a mother or wife or babysitter or whatever hat I put on for the day. But, I am... Today I am tired of all these things and just want to stop... Sometimes I wish I could just stop.