An Epiphany for me

I am trying to find joy in my daily life, in my mundane routines of being a mother. It doesn't change much for me. There is always dishes that need to be done, laundry that needs to be folded. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner. I go grocery shopping and pick up after kids and clean bathrooms. But, in my reading today I came across a scripture that helped change some of my perspective, for today atleast.
I have read this scripture many times but today it has different meaning for me.
It is Alma 32:37-39
37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.
39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your aground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.

I thought of this in a different way today. I thought of this in how I am raising my children. This is what I am doing for my children everytime I obey the commandments like having prayer with them, reading scriptures, praising them, discussing gospel topics. I am nourishing their tree and helping the roots grow deeply and that it takes work and part of that is the mundane everyday tasks.
The rewards of my faith is to see all my children with me in the Celestial kingdom. That is my greatest joy. I think I have a glimpse of what my father in heaven might see and feel.

Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments

Do you ever find something that is life changing,something like a book or an article or even a person? Well, I found that in an article by Jeffery R. Holland called "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments." I learned things I never thought of before. I learned new ways to be able to teach the children I have been entrusted with and I was directed to this article by my sweet daughter Aubrey. There are so many good things in this, so many.
i loved this quote.
‎"It has been declared in the solemn word of
revelation, that the spirit and the body constitute
the soul of man; and, therefore, we should look
upon this body as something that shall endure in
the resurrected state, beyond the grave,
something to be kept pure and holy. Be not afraid
of soiling its hands; be not afraid of scars that
may come to it if won in earnest effort, or [won]
in honest fight, but beware of scars that disfigure,
that have come to you in places where you ought
not have gone, that have befallen you in
unworthy undertakings [pursued where you
ought not have been]; beware of the wounds of
battles in which you have been fighting on the
wrong side." [Talmage, CR, October 1913, p. 117]

Family Pictures

It has been quite a few years since we have had decent family pictures. I think the last time Haylee was 4 years old and we had one of Devin's friends take the picture. HAHA.

Well, Aubrey and Alex came for a visit and I was going to try my hardest to get family pictures done. The day we chose was supposed to be a nice day. Well, it wasn't. The wind was blowing hard and it was 40 degrees outside. But, we chose to do it anyway. For the most part it was fine, except Adalyn wanted nothing to do with smiling or getting her picture taken. She kept saying "I'm COLD!!" So, I said I would be happy if we got one good one. Well, here is the result. Hopefully we can try again when the weather warms up and Aubrey comes for another visit.







Adalyn refused to get in the picture. She just wanted me to hold her. So, all my kids except for her. oh well!

If you can call it a job

At the end of December I got the best part time job ever. This is my job description.
1. Love Basketball, especially the Utah Jazz.
2. Help get the crowd excited during time outs and at half time.
3. Be willing to act crazy and have fun.
4. Be able to run up and down the stairs in the arena to give out free merchandise.
This is basically the job description. So, I get paid to watch the Jazz play basketball. This is the best job ever!!! I absolutely LOVE it..
The only downside to it is ugly uniforms..

sometimes

Sometimes life feels very lonely. Sometimes I am tired of putting on the face that everything is great when it is not. It is hard not feeling like I have any real friends, nobody that I feel like I can share my problems with, without feeling like I am burdening them.It's hard living in a place for a year and a half and not feeling included in my ward and neighborhood. I feel like I have really tried. But, there is the dang clique. Do adults really have cliques? This has been a hard transition, one that we have prayed about and felt good about but, it has been so hard!! I am trying, trying , trying but today I am tired... Tired of so many things. But, to even say them aloud or in writing brings on tremendous guilt because I shouldn't feel tired of being a mother or wife or babysitter or whatever hat I put on for the day. But, I am... Today I am tired of all these things and just want to stop... Sometimes I wish I could just stop.

My greatest accomplishments are sometimes my greatest sorrows.

As my kids are getting older and taking on new roles for themselves, I really have had much contemplation on my greatest role as being their mother. I have sorrow for my older ones as they have been my lab rats in the sense that everything was practiced on them first. I find myself a much better and patient mother to my younger ones than I was to my older ones. I am grateful for repentance and forgiveness, as I try and become better today than I was yesterday. My greatest joys and sorrows have been because of my wonderful and beautiful children.
I wonder what I can do better today than I did yesterday? I feel so much that they have got to be valiant and strong and so do I as their mother. They are being raised in enemy territory with so much of the world pulling at them. I need to make my home a place of refuge and peace. Sometimes that is hard but I have got to be willing to do better daily.
I came across some amazing quotes that I would love to share. They have really helped me have the desire to do better and not get so down on myself when my children choose to go astray.

"Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang."
(Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, 11:215)

Another one that I really liked.
A successful parent is one who has loved, one who has sacrificed, and one who
has cared for, taught, and ministered to the needs of a child. If you have done all of these and your child is still wayward or troublesome or worldly, it could well be that you are, nevertheless, a successful parent. Perhaps there are children who have come into the world that would challenge any set of parents under any set of circumstances. Likewise, perhaps there are others who would bless the lives of, and be a joy to, almost any father or mother. My concern today is that there are parents who may be pronouncing harsh judgments upon themselves and may be allowing these feelings to destroy their lives, when in fact they have done their best and should continue in faith. (Howard W. Hunter, Conference Report, October 1983)

I hope to do better, be better and rely on the Holy Ghost to help me be the best parent I can be.

My husband

I was reading a blog of a man who lost his wife a few months ago. He was going on about all the things that his wife did that he never realized until she was gone. It made me realize how truly grateful I am for my husband and I wanted to write it down.
Can I just say I am one blessed woman. I have a really good husband. I am spending forever with a man I still get butterflies with when I see him. I enjoy spending my time with him, talking to him about my triumphs and my sorrows. He is a righteous man who honors his priesthood. He is a great father who tries to teach by example. We have grown together in so many ways. I just love him! I am thankful for the advice and wisdom he shares with me to help me become a better person. I understand the wisdom in the counsel the Lord gives to cleave unto your spouse and none else. This year we celebrate 20 years of marriage. I know that is just a drop in the bucket of time that we have together. He is my best friend.