My grandma

I went and visited my grandma yesterday. It was a bittersweet visit. I know that it was probably my last one with her while she is on this earth. I went and sat by her bedside and held her hand. The first thing she said to me was " oh your hands are cold." she than grabbed both of my hands and put them in between hers so she could warm them up. That small act of love is what my grandmother has always been about, thinking of others. She is such an example of what Jesus Christ taught. How blessed I am to have her as my grandma.


She played pat a cake with Adalyn and sang pop goes the weasel. We all sang if you're happy and you know it.
She seemed to wear out fast. I just held her hand and stared at her beautiful face while she slept. I love this woman so much. My heart filled with gratitude for being blessed enough to be her granddaughter, to be taught so many great lessons by her example throughout my life. While she will be missed here, I am thankful for the knowledge that I know she will be with my grandpa, dad, brother Joel, and so many other loved ones that have passed on. What a great reunion that will be..

All you need is love

Isn't it the truth though.


There's nothing you can do that can't be done.Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you
in time - It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

England and back

For the last four months Aubrey has been planning her trip to England. She started talking to the family at the end of January. She bought her plane ticket the beginning of February and has been planning her life accordingly. She said her goodbyes to her family and friends, packed her suitcases and her room because we are moving in a few months and I didn't want to do it. She was sad to leave but so excited for a new adventure in a different country for the rest of the year.
We took her to the airport Wednesday afternoon and all said our goodbyes through tears.I knew she would land in London Heathrow at about 5 am our time. I got a call from her at 6 am and this is what she said " Mom I am trying really hard not to cry but immigration will not let me through. They have searched all my suitcases. They have gone through all my personal items including my journal and read some of my most cherished letters. They tell me that my story is sending up red flags and they are going to give me a formal interview. I have already been sitting here for over an hour."
I am frantic. Both Jonathan and I start calling trying to figure out exactly where she is and what the problem is. Well, we find out that the UK has a law against Au Pairs coming into England from the United States. It is very specific to Americans. The family she was going to stay with did not know the law. They had 2 nannies previously that were both European. After the family she was staying with talked to immigration and we talked to immigration they still decided to send her home. It's the law.
The worst part about it was they treated her as if she were a criminal. They would not allow her any of her belongings. She had a horrific headache and only gave her medicine after Jonathan called 2 different times and yelled at them to give her some aspirin. She had to stay in this small room and couldn't leave. She was in London and could not see anything.She had to sleep in chairs.
They booked her a flight for the next day at 10:00 am London time which is 3 am our time. But, they still would not allow her to have any of her things. They gave it all to the flight attendant including her passport.
When she arrived at JFK she had to be escorted off the plane. But, when she got to customs they asked her why she was back so soon and she told them of her story. With the biggest grin and a very heavy New York accent the man said "welcome home!" Aubrey's response to that was " I love America.. I love Americans!!"
While I am glad she is home safe and sound, my heart hurts for her. She really has been devastated by the whole experience. She has spent so much time and money into making this happen and it didn't. I just hope to hurry and find her a job so she can put her mind on other things.

Bon Voyage

My baby is leaving to England tomorrow. Yesterday was a hard day for me. It is hard to see her grow up and move away. There are so many things that I am going to miss while she is gone. I am going to miss her beautiful singing voice. She is always singing, around the house, in the car, the shower, while we are eating. When we are in church, sometimes I will stop singing just so I can hear her sing. I will miss her infectious bubbly happiness. People just want to be around her when she is like this. I will miss her amazing cleaning skills. She can clean a house like no other. I will miss her strong spirit in my home.
She is so talented. I love watching her come up with new ideas for photography. She is so much like her father in the way she thinks and acts. I am just not ready for her to go. We have had a saying since she was very young. It is " I love you a million sweedish fish and red M&Ms." But, I love her even more than that.
I will miss you Aubrey Lee!


She is so beautiful and talented!


One of my favorites.

9 months old

Oh! my goodness. Why does she have to grow up so fast? I really would like to slow her down. She is my last baby and I am trying so hard to enjoy every moment I have with her. Everything she does is just the best. She is such a happy baby and is always smiling. She has learned to crawl, which is so cute because it is sort of gimp crawling. When we sing "if you're happy and you know it" she claps in the right places. She will actually grab my own hands and make me clap also. We have had a hard time feeding her solid foods because if she can't feed it to herself than she doesn't want it. She constantly tries to grab the spoon from me while I am feeding her. Can you say independent already? She doesn't have any teeth yet. But, she seems like she has been teething forever. I hope they come in soon. She is such a ray of sunshine in our lives. I am so thankful for her.

one of my greatest loves

Growing up in the Victor Dean family I almost can't help but love basketball. Lots of my fondest memories with my dad have to do with basketball. Well, these last few months have been full of my favorite sport. I was able to go to game 6 of the Jazz/Nuggets series. We watched them play an amazing game and wrap up the series at home. I absolutely loved it. I always said if I were wealthy I would buy season tickets right on the floor. Oh! what a dream. Anyway, let's hope they can do it again against the Lakers. I would love for the Finals to be the Jazz and the Celtics, my 2 favorite teams.

Oh! wouldn't that be awesome...