Well, I write something and than I erase it. Then, I do it again. I am not sure how to say this or what exactly to say.
I went to the doctor today because of some complications that I have been having over the weekend. So, they scheduled an ultrasound for me today. I hate that. The tech does the ultrasound and than she keeps the monitor close to her and I ask her "is everything ok?" But, the only answer I get is " I want to let the radiologist look at this. I will be back in a minute." then she is gone for like ten minutes. When she comes back she says "your doctor is on the phone." That is not good.
Well, I have what is called a blighted ovum. This is what it is.....A blighted ovum is a common cause of early pregnancy loss. It occurs when a fertilized egg develops a placenta and membrane but no embryo. An ultrasound will show an empty gestational sac. Blighted ovum is often due to chromosomal abnormalities in the fertilized egg.
I am very sad. I do not know if I want to even think about trying again..
6 comments:
I know that "I'm sorry" just doesn't cut it in this situation, but I really am sorry. I will be praying for peace for you.
Oh Mel! My heart is aching for you and your family. You have been in our thoughts and prayers. Is there anything we can do? We can even come over and do laundry or something... anything. If you want to talk, or not talk, go get ice cream or need a shoulder to cry on.... please don't hesitate to call. I love you!
I'll be remembering you in my prayers...
Is there always a lesson in a trial? Sometimes I wonder. As you feel more like talking...Im all ears. I want to hear your thoughts and feelings about this difficult experience. "Let not your heart be troubled."
Sorry I have not kept up with your blog better. I got the news through an e-mail from Amber. I love you dear. A Mother's heart always knows best, especially when she asks God to lead and guide and walk beside her. He will comfort you. Let Him.
This unfolding story in the beginning of your blog touched me, and I have been thinking about it this week. I am glad that I know from the more recent blogs that I have read that you eventually did have another baby, but I also still remember how painful it is to lose a pregnancy. I had one miscarriage, over seven years ago, fairly early in the pregnancy, and I do still wonder about that baby--whether or not that pregnancy was long enough to count as a trip into mortality, whether or not when I get to the other side of the veil I will have another child waiting for me. I hope so, but I don't know. A dear friend of mine that is not a member of our faith had a miscarriage a few months ago, and was quite upset by it. I have been researching the topic to try to find gospel answers for both of us. I haven't found solid answers. An Ensign article offered hope of resurrection (without a solid promise)for babies that are stillborn, but stated that the Lord has not yet revealed His plan for early miscarriages like my own. I did find one experience in a book containing near death experiences that were recorded by LDS people which gave me a great deal of hope, but I suppose this is an area where it is best to take a step back and just say, "Thy will be done." Our Father in Heaven loves all of his children. He is sure to have a loving plan in place which will bring the greatest amount of joy to his children. Perhaps this is an area in which different choices are made on an individual level. I do believe that every mother that has ever grieved over the loss of her pregnancy and then placed her faith in God will ultimately be satisfied with whatever decisions that the Father of all our spirits has made for these little ones.
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