I am a big believer in that everything happens for a reason. It doesn't mean that I always know the reason at that moment or even in that year but I think that I can choose for all my experiences to be something I can learn from.
Now saying that, I have for the better part of a year really tried hard to learn from Haylee. What can I do to help her make different choices?
Haylee is her own person. She likes things done her way. She has been this way since about the age of two. This morning Haylee wanted to wear an outfit to church that was not clean. She dressed herself and was ready to go at 9:00. Church does not start until 1:00. So, I told her she could not wear the outfit she had on because it was dirty. We have this discussion quite frequently because she has about 5 outfits that she LOVES to wear and that is all she will wear. Forget about the rest of the wardrobe that hangs in her closet. So, I made a rule that if it has not gone through the wash than she can not wear it until it does. Her laundry day is on Tuesdays. So, Wednesday is usually a good day because she has so much to choose from. Anyway, that started the Sunday meltdown. She could not wear the outfit that she LOVES and that she chose. So, I start making suggestions on different things that she could wear. I am trying oh so hard to be patient and not yell and when she cries, I just send her to her room until she is finished. We went through 4 outfits. By this time it is about noon. She finally settled on one that she liked. Now for the next hurdle, her hair. Most of the time I am relaxed about this. She prefers her hair to be brushed and on occasion a barrette. Sometimes she will surprise me and ask for a pony tail. But, it has to be a low ponytail. If she can see it in a mirror, it is to high. Today we decided on 2 ponytails... On Sunday she sometimes will let me do her hair. So, I put the 2 ponytails in making sure to keep them low. Well, she decides she wants a barrette now instead. I do not have time for this. We will be late for church. So, I left the ponytails in and put a barrette in also. All the while, she is crying saying her hair is to puffy and she doesn't like how she looks. So what to do? We ended up going to church with her hair in 2 ponytails, a barrette and as we were walking out the door she adds a headband to it to help with the puffiness.
Haylee is her own person. She likes things done her way. She has been this way since about the age of two. This morning Haylee wanted to wear an outfit to church that was not clean. She dressed herself and was ready to go at 9:00. Church does not start until 1:00. So, I told her she could not wear the outfit she had on because it was dirty. We have this discussion quite frequently because she has about 5 outfits that she LOVES to wear and that is all she will wear. Forget about the rest of the wardrobe that hangs in her closet. So, I made a rule that if it has not gone through the wash than she can not wear it until it does. Her laundry day is on Tuesdays. So, Wednesday is usually a good day because she has so much to choose from. Anyway, that started the Sunday meltdown. She could not wear the outfit that she LOVES and that she chose. So, I start making suggestions on different things that she could wear. I am trying oh so hard to be patient and not yell and when she cries, I just send her to her room until she is finished. We went through 4 outfits. By this time it is about noon. She finally settled on one that she liked. Now for the next hurdle, her hair. Most of the time I am relaxed about this. She prefers her hair to be brushed and on occasion a barrette. Sometimes she will surprise me and ask for a pony tail. But, it has to be a low ponytail. If she can see it in a mirror, it is to high. Today we decided on 2 ponytails... On Sunday she sometimes will let me do her hair. So, I put the 2 ponytails in making sure to keep them low. Well, she decides she wants a barrette now instead. I do not have time for this. We will be late for church. So, I left the ponytails in and put a barrette in also. All the while, she is crying saying her hair is to puffy and she doesn't like how she looks. So what to do? We ended up going to church with her hair in 2 ponytails, a barrette and as we were walking out the door she adds a headband to it to help with the puffiness.
Now, this is my fourth child. You would think I could figure it out by now. I think what I have figured out is that we are all individuals. That force and coercion is not what the Lord intended and I still have lots to learn about being a parent.
3 comments:
I am still going through this with my 10 year old- only she does her own hair. Most days I am good with it, but sometimes it just needs help. The second I touch it, it is too puffy. (what can I say, I am a child of the 80's). I am sure when hair is not the issue, and dirty clothes are no longer the issue, the lack of clothing and the amount of make-up will be the issue. Then one day I am sure I will wake up and they will be gone- and I will wish I had someone there to have an issue with!
It definitely sounds like she has a mind of her own! Good for you for trying so hard to be patient with her! I know that sometimes patience is hard to come by! By the way I see that you found the cutest blog on the block website! Isnt it so easy?! It looks really cute!
It will cycle all through her life at home. Somedays you'll love her and other days....well you know. I believe God has saved his very strong opinionate spirits for the last days. They have a work to do for Him and we have our work cut out for us trying to parent them without violence and shouting.
Post a Comment