England and back

For the last four months Aubrey has been planning her trip to England. She started talking to the family at the end of January. She bought her plane ticket the beginning of February and has been planning her life accordingly. She said her goodbyes to her family and friends, packed her suitcases and her room because we are moving in a few months and I didn't want to do it. She was sad to leave but so excited for a new adventure in a different country for the rest of the year.
We took her to the airport Wednesday afternoon and all said our goodbyes through tears.I knew she would land in London Heathrow at about 5 am our time. I got a call from her at 6 am and this is what she said " Mom I am trying really hard not to cry but immigration will not let me through. They have searched all my suitcases. They have gone through all my personal items including my journal and read some of my most cherished letters. They tell me that my story is sending up red flags and they are going to give me a formal interview. I have already been sitting here for over an hour."
I am frantic. Both Jonathan and I start calling trying to figure out exactly where she is and what the problem is. Well, we find out that the UK has a law against Au Pairs coming into England from the United States. It is very specific to Americans. The family she was going to stay with did not know the law. They had 2 nannies previously that were both European. After the family she was staying with talked to immigration and we talked to immigration they still decided to send her home. It's the law.
The worst part about it was they treated her as if she were a criminal. They would not allow her any of her belongings. She had a horrific headache and only gave her medicine after Jonathan called 2 different times and yelled at them to give her some aspirin. She had to stay in this small room and couldn't leave. She was in London and could not see anything.She had to sleep in chairs.
They booked her a flight for the next day at 10:00 am London time which is 3 am our time. But, they still would not allow her to have any of her things. They gave it all to the flight attendant including her passport.
When she arrived at JFK she had to be escorted off the plane. But, when she got to customs they asked her why she was back so soon and she told them of her story. With the biggest grin and a very heavy New York accent the man said "welcome home!" Aubrey's response to that was " I love America.. I love Americans!!"
While I am glad she is home safe and sound, my heart hurts for her. She really has been devastated by the whole experience. She has spent so much time and money into making this happen and it didn't. I just hope to hurry and find her a job so she can put her mind on other things.

Bon Voyage

My baby is leaving to England tomorrow. Yesterday was a hard day for me. It is hard to see her grow up and move away. There are so many things that I am going to miss while she is gone. I am going to miss her beautiful singing voice. She is always singing, around the house, in the car, the shower, while we are eating. When we are in church, sometimes I will stop singing just so I can hear her sing. I will miss her infectious bubbly happiness. People just want to be around her when she is like this. I will miss her amazing cleaning skills. She can clean a house like no other. I will miss her strong spirit in my home.
She is so talented. I love watching her come up with new ideas for photography. She is so much like her father in the way she thinks and acts. I am just not ready for her to go. We have had a saying since she was very young. It is " I love you a million sweedish fish and red M&Ms." But, I love her even more than that.
I will miss you Aubrey Lee!


She is so beautiful and talented!


One of my favorites.

9 months old

Oh! my goodness. Why does she have to grow up so fast? I really would like to slow her down. She is my last baby and I am trying so hard to enjoy every moment I have with her. Everything she does is just the best. She is such a happy baby and is always smiling. She has learned to crawl, which is so cute because it is sort of gimp crawling. When we sing "if you're happy and you know it" she claps in the right places. She will actually grab my own hands and make me clap also. We have had a hard time feeding her solid foods because if she can't feed it to herself than she doesn't want it. She constantly tries to grab the spoon from me while I am feeding her. Can you say independent already? She doesn't have any teeth yet. But, she seems like she has been teething forever. I hope they come in soon. She is such a ray of sunshine in our lives. I am so thankful for her.

one of my greatest loves

Growing up in the Victor Dean family I almost can't help but love basketball. Lots of my fondest memories with my dad have to do with basketball. Well, these last few months have been full of my favorite sport. I was able to go to game 6 of the Jazz/Nuggets series. We watched them play an amazing game and wrap up the series at home. I absolutely loved it. I always said if I were wealthy I would buy season tickets right on the floor. Oh! what a dream. Anyway, let's hope they can do it again against the Lakers. I would love for the Finals to be the Jazz and the Celtics, my 2 favorite teams.

Oh! wouldn't that be awesome...

a bit of ranting

Oh man! Sometimes it is so hard to be a parent. I have all the best intentions to be a good example to them, to try and make sure they know I love them and trust them. It just seems in the past few weeks it has become really hard to the point where I want to just pick up and go hide out for a week or so. I wouldn't do it but sometimes I sure feel like it. I am tired of the same behaviors being exhibited and than the consequences are handed out but it happens again. Yes, I am being vague on purpose to spare embarrassment to some of my children. But, what other things do I do? I feel like a failure. I really keep the mantra in my head "just keep swimming swimming..." over and over again. I try and talk with a soft voice even sometimes through clenched teeth and sometimes I don't speak softly at all but I yell... and than have major guilt when I say my prayers at night.
I love being a mother to my children. I am blessed with 5 beautiful, unique souls. But, man oh man! IT IS SO HARD!!!!! I will be happy if I can just get through this week in one piece.

My big and little helper

I am a very healthy person. I hardly ever get sick, which is a great blessing, especially for a mother. But, yesterday I woke up with a migraine. I have had 4 migraine headaches in my life. It was completely debilitating. If I tried to get up, I became very dizzy and sick to my stomach. I wondered how in the heck I was going to take care of Adalyn. Aubrey had to be at school. Jonathan just started a new job and could not miss work. So, I asked Haylee if she would stay home and help me take care of Addie. She was more than willing to help me out. She did such a great job. She helped change her diaper. She stayed on my bed with her and watched TV while I slept. She even brought me a glass of water and rubbed my neck. She played with her and kept her entertained until Aubrey got home.
When Aubrey got home she took Adalyn and just let me sleep. She dressed her and even painted her toenails. It is so nice to not have to worry about these things when I am feeling sick. I really have such good girls.

Going to England

Aubrey is going to Worcestershire England for 6 months to be a Nanny. She applied about a month ago and found a few families that were really interested in having her as a nanny. She really got a great feeling about this one couple in England. So, she will be leaving at the beginning of May to start a new adventure.
I have such mixed emotions about it. I am excited for her. This is a great opportunity for her to travel and meet new people. But, she is leaving. My baby is leaving. I know that this was going to happen eventually but, I was hoping for awhile down the road.
She is so excited, she can hardly stand it. We are in the process of getting her passport and plane ticket together. We have already checked on churches close by. There are three near where she is living. I am so glad for that.
I just wish that my kids would not grow up so fast. I am not ready for this..