Today Jonathan and I are celebrating 17 years together. As I type it, I can hardly believe it myself. We started out so young together but have grown so much over these many years. I love being his wife and am so thankful for a husband that loves his family, his Savior Jesus Christ and respects and honors his priesthood. He is very passionate about the things he believes to be true. He is not a fence sitter. Here is to us and another 17 years together....
Christmas day is winding down. It has been a very fulfilling day. For me, it has been amazing because I had my husband, children, mom and some of my sisters here. I truly love my family so much. They are what bring me my greatest joy. It has taken me until today to feel the Christmas spirit. Usually I make lots of goodies and take them to neighbors. I always do a Christmas card and send it to friends and family. I did not do any of it this year. I guess I attribute it to losing my Dad. I am not really sure why it has taken the Christmas spirit out of things for me. I would think it would do the exact opposite. But, today as we were sitting down to eat the most amazing meal I was filled with such an overwhelming love for my family, especially the ones that are no longer with us.
I got a great gift this week in the mail. My step mom sent me my dads very favorite shirt in the mail.
I have atleast 4 pictures of him wearing this same shirt. I was very glad to get it. She was very thoughtful in sending it to me. So, Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you had a very peaceful Christmas..
So, I have a good reason why I have not posted for so long. Well, I have many reasons... The first is my lack of motivation for anything due to the lack of the sun and warm weather. I am always cold so do not leave my fire place for very long except to make some Hot Cocoa. In fact, as I am typing this now, I have my coat on. Mr. Winter is not my friend. I know lots of people are excited for the snow.. I know I have already harped about this before. But, had to keep you updated on why I have not blogged in awhile..
Oh! and the other reason, well..... 
I found this a few months ago and meant to blog about it but forgot. But, now with Christmas upon us, I just have to share. Have you ever heard of Pandora? It is internet radio. The coolest thing about it is you make your own radio stations. You select an artist or a song that you like, type it in and they will find artists that are similar or songs with that same type of beat. I like it for the Christmas season because I just typed in the word Christmas and it comes up with all the best Christmas songs... So, if you want to find good tunes go to Pandora.com. You will have to sign up for an account but other than that it is free and I love it!
Throughout my married life, I have had a hard time with being a visiting teacher. I have not ever gained a testimony of it. I really did not see the importance of it. I have had a hard time making new friends and opening up to people that I just didn't know. I must say that I have had a bad attitude about it all. Than, I would feel guilty every month for only putting half effort out there and would sometimes find myself dodging the district supervisors call. I just did not want to report once again of my failure to come through.
Last night I was up late. Jonathan was working and I was keeping him company. There are a few boxes that have not been unpacked yet, mostly because I have no idea where to put things. There was an open box in his office with some books in it. On top of these books there was a brown folder looking book. It has been with me for quite awhile. My mom gave it to me a few years ago with all the genealogy she had in her home. So, I decided to grab it last night and look through it. To my amazement, it was my dads personal history and a list of important events in his life. There was so much information listed in there that I did not know. For instance, he was actually baptized in the Catholic church as an infant. I never knew that fact about him. It only covers the first 24 years of his life but it was full of things I never knew about my dad. It also has the original certificate of birth from Mercy Hospital in Durango Colorado and the certificate of baptism and confirmation. I love this... I don't know why I have never looked at it before but I am so glad I found it, especially now...
This past week has been cloudy and rainy all week. The sun peeked out of the clouds yesterday for a bit. My energy level has been completely depleted and I am DREADING winter. It is still Fall and I find myself wishing that the sun would just come shine on me and charge my solar batteries.
I was tagged by my Aunt Melanie. Doesn't she have the best name ever? I think so...
I have actually been tagged for two different things. I will post one today and one tomorrow. My friend Chanel tagged me about 6 things that you may not know about me.
1. I have a phobia of large crowds. I am not sure when this started but I realized how bad it was when I enrolled in college for the first time. Just thinking of going to school with so many people gave me anxiety. I purposely enrolled mostly in evening classes as to avoid the larger crowds. There was a class that I enrolled in that had about 200 people in it. I made it through a couple of weeks before I dropped it and elected to take it online instead. I love sporting events but have a hard time going because of the crowds. The same with concerts. I try to analyze what it is all about but come up empty handed with that one.
2. If I am not good at something or don't think I will be, than I just am not interested. I know this is very limiting. For instance, Jonathan likes to bowl. I really stink at it. So, I don't want to bowl. I don't enjoy going bowling. I am a competitive person and if I think that I can't win, than I won't try. This is something that I would like to work on though. I feel like I have gotten better as I have gotten older. I am not as rigid as I used to be.
3. I love to read. I have atleast 4 or 5 book that I am reading at once. I go through phases though. Right now I am in a phase of self-help books. How can I improve myself? How can I improve my relationships? and everything else in between that is good for me. I miss the time I once had for reading though. When I was young I remember spending hours reading. I loved all the Nancy Drew books and wanted more than anything to find a hidden staircase or secret room.. When I was a teenager I read all the Dean R. Koontz books. I was always reading. I really have a love for learning.
4. I love to try new and unique foods. I will try anything atleast once. My two favorite foods are Thai food, really anything Thai and Sushi. A good Unagi sushi roll, when prepared right, is just a bit of heaven. All of my children love these things too so I am glad that my taste for unique food has rubbed off on them a bit.
5. I have a gift to recognize truth. When something is true, it just resonates in me very strong. So much so, that I do everything in my power to find out about it, study it, teach it and speak about it. I want others to know what I have learned. But, I have learned to be very careful with my words. I have learned that we all learn different things at different times in our lives. I believe that I will know when and who to share these truths with.
6. Before I referee a game of basketball, I have got to talk myself into doing it. I get great anxiety when I think to much about it. I have to tell myself over and over again that "I am an amazing referee." The idea of people scrutinizing my every call is sometimes overwhelming. Last season I did pretty good. I only backed out of two games because my fear really became paralyzing. After the game is over and I know that I did a great job, than the feeling is exhilirating. I think "why was I even worried?" Than, the next games comes and I do it all over again.
WOW! that was so hard.. Now, maybe you know a little bit more about me.
Now I tag Amber, Kristy and Amy O.
I have been contemplating on blogging about this. I know that so many people have different views about politics. I have started and erased and than started again. I have been listening to different things. One of the things I read was a transcript of a conversation between Senator Orrin Hatch and Glenn Beck. It was very good. One of the people that Glenn Beck quoted was President Reagan.
"No generation in the history of Earth has ever tasted freedom, lost it, and then tasted it again." We are so close to losing our Constitution. We are so close to losing what we have, and people aren't thinking. The next generation, our children will look to us and say, "You sold my freedom for what?"
This week has been a very peaceful week. I have truly felt all the prayers that have been given in my families behalf. I have felt such a peace this last week. I am so grateful for the comfort the holy ghost brings.
It seems that most of my thoughts of the last week have been centered on my dad. It still seems not quite real to me. I only talked to my dad about once a month and saw him a few times a year. It truly is amazing to me how the Lord is so merciful to his children. We can only be given what we can handle. I believe that is true also in dealing with the death of a loved one.
My Dad's wishes were to be cremated. At first this was very hard for me to accept. When my brother passed away, I was able to see him. This brought a good amount of closure for me. But, as the week has gone on, I know that the ashes are not my father.. He lives on. He has gone home. I am sad for myself but not for him.
He lives on in many ways. One of these ways are through his paintings. He loved to paint. We all have something he has painted. I have 4 paintings and they all have a personal note attached to the back.
The following are all the paintings that we were able to get together for the service. The first 4 are mine. These pictures do not do them justice. They truly are amazing works of Art.
I know this is a very long post, but it is amazing... I got chills when I read this. It comes from a friend of mine. I really hope you will take the time to read it..
Some wise words, not my own but an excerpt from "The Sanctity of Life" (an essay by Rousas John Rushdoony). This was written some 40 years ago and yet so applicable today.
Godly wisdom, which means faith and obedience, is, according to Scripture "a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her" (Prov. 3:18; cf. 11:30). Instead of being a form of bondage, God's law is for us the condition of life.
Let us analyze the meaning of this, God's law as the condition of life. The condition of a fish's life, its environment, is water; take a fish out of water and it dies. The condition of a tree's life, its health and its environment, is the soil; uproot a tree, and you kill it. It is no act of liberation to take a fish out of water, or a tree out of the ground. Similarly, the condition of a man's life, the ground of man's moral, spiritual, and physical health, is the law of God. To take men and societies out of the world of God's law is to sentence them to a decline, fall, and death. Instead of liberation, it is execution. Man's liberty is under God's law, and God's law is the life-giving air of man and society, the basic condition of their existence.
Law is therefore the condition of man's life because God is the creator of life and the sole ground of its continuation. God's law is the essence of life and the terms of life. Those who tamper with God's law, or who espouse any departure from it, instead of seeking freedom to live, as they claim, are in actuality seeking death. For a fish, "escape" from water is an escape from life; it is a will to death. Jesus Christ, speaking as Wisdom ages ago, declared, "But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death" (Prov. 8:36). The hatred of God's law is the hatred of life: it is the love of death.
True government is government according to God's word, in terms of His law, as a ministry of justice. Those who despise government are, according to Moses (Num. 15:29-31) and St. Peter (II Peter 2:10), guilty of the sin of presumption. Presumption means taking for oneself authority and power for which one has no warrant or right. Whenever we set aside God's laws concerning life and death, we are guilty of presumption. Presumption is the mark of an unbeliever. Presumption means that we have set ourselves in the place of God and have demanded that life and death be on our terms only.
The presumptuous humanists talk about reverence for life, but, instead of having any regard for the sanctity of life, their view of life is secular and profane. Life for them has no connection with God; it is simply a natural resource to exploit and to re-shape to their own tastes. They are presumptuous, that is, self-willed; their universe is essentially their own ego and their own intellectual pride, their confidence that they represent the elite ruling class of the ages. Their presumption makes them not only contemptuous of God but of other men. We live in a day when the love of all men is insistently proclaimed in theory, and the massive hatred of all men is practiced in fact. We hear much about equality from men who tell us they are our superiors and therefore know what is best for us. We hear calls for unity from men whose every action divides us. Presumptuous men, because they are self-willed, can only bring anarchy. Faith and obedience bring unity because they unite men in Christ, not in man's will. "Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it" (Ps. 127:1).
I receive so much comfort in different types of music. I always have. I remember when I was about 8, running away because of something that happened at home and going to the park and digging a hole under the slide. I hid in that hole and sang "I am a Child of God" over and over again while crying. When my dad finally found me, I was still singing it. He picked me up and was not angry.
The song "Consider the Lilies" has been a great comfort to me in these past days. I love the words of this song.
Consider the lilies of the field--how they grow, how they grow.
Consider the birds of the sky--how they fly, how they fly.
He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the birds in the sky
and He will feed those who trust Him and Guide them with His eye.
Consider the sheep of his fold--how they follow where he leads.
Though the path may wind across the mountains,
He knows the meadows where they feed.
He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the birds in the sky
and He will feed those who trust Him and Guide them with His eye.
Consider the sweet tender children who must suffer on this earth.
The pains of all of them he carried from the day of his birth.
He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the lambs of his fold
and He will heal those who trust Him and make their hearts as gold.
He clothes the lilies of the field. He feeds the lambs of his fold
and He will heal those who trust Him and make their hearts as gold.
October 18, 1947-October 21, 2008
Vic Dean, of Mesa, AZ, was born to Bob and Ada Dean in Durango, Colorado. He was the oldest of six Dean children. He grew up as a great brother and mentor to his siblings and to all of those that he came into contact with.
Vic leaves behind an awesome legacy, full of love, fun and hard work. Vic served proudly in the US Army from 1968 - 1970. While in the military in 1970, at a Base Dance, he met Sandy Snider-Bawden. They were married until 1999, and during that time they raised eight children together.
He loved each of his children, his two stepchildren and his 33 grandchildren with all of his heart. There was not a day that went by that those who knew him didn't hear of how proud he was of his children and his posterity. He was sure to instill in each of them good morals, good work ethic, the ability to have fun, and of course, the great game of BASKETBALL. Victor also instilled and taught of his fond love for his Savior, Jesus Christ.
After his military service, Victor attended BYU and Dixie College; And after most of his children were grown, he attended and received a degree from the College of Eastern Utah, as an RN.
Vic loved helping people and did so as often as possible. He was able to do so in his job, and he and his wife, Adrienne, made a daily effort to reach out to those in need whenever, wherever and however they could.
Victor and his bride, Adrienne, have built a wonderful, fun-loving life together that Vic was very happy and proud of. They resided in Mesa, AZ, where they have lived life to the fullest and participate in all of the outdoor adventures they can handle. Together, they have become avid bicyclists, kayakers, motorcycle enthusiasts, hikers, and love to travel together to spend time with family, as often as their schedules allowed.
Family was very important to Victor and we are excited for his union with his loved ones on the other side.
He is preceded in death by: his siblings, Dennis Dean and Roberta Shirley; his son (and his pride &joy), Joel Dean; and his father, Robert Dean.
He is survived by his wife, Adrienne Shaver-Dean, and her two children, Erin and Andrew Shaver; his children: Monica Riedel; Misty Thompson (Jay); Jared Dean (Christa); Melanie Bond (Jonathan); Amber Dean-Hobdy (Lanard); Joel's wife, Kristy; Lindsey Dean; and Summer Smith (Jesse); His siblings Ronald Dean (Diana); Rick Dean(Dorothy);Lori Buhr(Terry);his mother Ada Dean and many nieces and nephews.
A memorial service is scheduled for Sunday, October 26 at 6:30 pm at the Grandview LDS Chapel; 900 West 2150 North, Provo, Utah.
Can this be real? Am I writing that my father is no longer with us?
Last night at 9:00 I got a call from my sister Lindsey who had been contacted by the highway patrol to tell her that my dad had been in a bad motorcycle accident. That he was unconscious and taken to a hospital in Scottsdale. They found her number on his cell phone and so they called her first. She than called me and with Amber's help we tried to find out exactly what hospital he was at. We were able to find him and talk to his Doctor. He told us that he had severe head trauma and that he was very critical and it did not look good. At 11:00, they called Amber back and told her that they could not stop the bleeding in his head and that they were stopping all blood transfusions. We got the call at 11:57 that he had passed away.
I am very blessed in that I was able to talk to him the day before. We had a really great conversation in that he told me how very proud of me he was and how much he loved me and I was able to do the same. After going over that conversation in my head, if I knew it was the last conversation that I ever had with my dad, I would not of changed a thing. When I got off the phone with him, I said I love you and have a great week!
We know that he wanted to be buried in Mancos, Colorado, where he grew up. I will post more information when I know.
Tonight for family night we carved our annual pumpkins. It was so much fun. The smell of pumpkin guts reminds me so much of Fall. 
I think Jonathan likes it a little to much.
What is he doing to Devin?
Haylee wasn't real happy about having to clean her pumpkin out.
Haylee's Spider Jack-O-Lantern.
Jerin's Jack-O-Lantern.
Devin's Dracula
Aubrey's pumpkin wasn't scary so she decided to be.
And Jonathan did one too.
We had a really great time. I love holiday traditions and look forward to trick or treating with the kids. We have a great neighborhood for that. So come by, we would love to see you.
Yesterday I went and got my very first facial. You see I have a really hard time spending money on myself. I have never gotten a pedicure. I did get a manicure once when my sister paid for it and the only time I have gotten a full body massage is when it has been given to me as a gift.
There are many things that I believe to be true. Some of the things that I hold most dear to my heart have been challenged. Most people that read this blog share my beliefs, but some do not. So, I want to share something that I believe in...
I solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
These are things I know to be true.. We have been asked to help in whatever way we can to help support proposition 8. We need to help support the effort to defend traditional marriage.
Please if you pray, add this to your prayers.
Haylee came home on Saturday and said that she figured out who she was going to marry. She said " Me, Tate, Jacob and Chase were all playing at the park. Well, they all said they wanted to marry me and I told them that they would have to do eanie meanie miney moe to decide. Well, Tate won and he was so excited that he said "YES!" like this. (while pumping his arm up and down) "So, I am going to marry Tate. Is it ok to marry your friend?"
Haylee has been talking a lot about marriage lately. Why in the world would marriage be on the mind of a 5 year old is beyond me. This was a conversation we had the other day.
"Mom, is it against the law to marry your brother?"
"Yes, Haylee it is."
"Is it against God's law?"
" Yes, it is also against Gods law." ( who knew that my 5 year old knew there was a difference.)
" Than how am I supposed to get married? Is it hard to find a husband?"
" No, it is not hard to find a husband."
" Well, than how do you do it? I don't know if I can find a husband. I don't think I want to get married. It will be to hard."
At this point Jerin interjects and proceeds to tell her how to find a husband.
" Well first you find a boy that you like and than you start talking. If he likes you than you can go out with each other. Than you fall in love and get married."
Haylee than says-
" I am never getting married. It sounds too hard."
We have been trying to get family pictures done while the fall colors are still here. We had it scheduled for Saturday with some family but, it rained all day Saturday and most of Sunday. So, we rescheduled it for yesterday but nobody could make it. So, this is our attempt at taking family photos by ourselves. It did not turn out as good as I would have liked. Plus, I think the rainstorm knocked off most of the beautiful Fall leaves. I love the Fall foliage and was sad that most of it was gone. Here are a few...
I have really enjoyed the last week of weather. It has been in the mid 80's and gets down in the 50's at night. That is by far my favorite kind of weather. But, all this is starting to change. I think I saw the last days of the 80's for the rest of the year. That really brings on the blues. I love warm or even hot weather. Sometimes I wonder if I truly am warm blooded. I am always cold unless I am sitting in the sun. I have to bring a jacket with me everywhere. When someone in the room is hot, you better believe that it feels perfect to me. I have to take a coat with me into a restaurant because I get so cold after I have finished a meal. It doesn't matter how warm it is in the restaurant you will still find me shivering away.
Now the question is why do I live in Utah when it gets so flippin cold here? IT has nothing to do with the weather, that's for sure... There are some great things about living here. I love the mountains and being so close to temples and family.
I am not looking forward to the cold weather or snow. I hate bundling up and putting on layers. Give me sunshine and flip flop weather anytime... Good bye warm weather. I will miss you.
The first month of our change in schooling has now past. This is the first time that all 4 of my children have not been in public schools. Although, Aubrey does go part time to Springville high school for a seminary class and an Art class.
Aubrey and Devin absolutely love Glen J. Kimber academy. I was very excited to put them in it but not so excited about the 30 minute drive to get them there. It has been well worth the time driving to see them so excited about learning. Devin absolutely hated school before. He dreaded going everyday. Now, he LOVES it. They share with me everyday what they are learning. They are learning things that I do not remember learning about. They are able to pray and sing hymns and have scripture study in school. I wanted more than anything for my childrens teachings to be centered around the teachings of Jesus Christ. This was the biggest reason why I chose to pull them out and try and find something different for them. I love it... Plus, they are taught by the most amazing teacher, a man that has taught for more than 30 years, Dr. Glen Kimber.
Jerin and Haylee are both doing home school. Although, Jerin's program is a bit different from Haylee's. I talked with a woman that has been homeschooling for awhile and she suggested that I start Jerin in a new program for homeschooling kids. It is actually like a COOP program, meaning that 13 kids get together and have classes together. The ages range from 9 to 12 and the kids learn at their own pace, which works well for Jerin because he learns very fast and can now move on when he is ready rather than waiting.
Haylee loves that I am her teacher. My neighbor also homeschools her daughter who is Haylee's age so they are able to do Math together. I do reading, writing and spelling. The lessons go very fast. She also does a Friday program with other homeschoolers at a school in Salem. She is taking Dance, Spanish, Piano, Music and story time. Jerin is also doing the Friday program.
All in all it has been great. I was very nervous to take this step but I am glad that I did. I am busier than I have ever been. It has taken some getting used to but I know that change really can be a good thing.
Tomorrow is the last day of Drivers ed. for Aubrey. I am very glad only for the reason that I would get up with her at 5:45 so that I could have her out the door and to drivers ed. by 6:00. Now for some reason the idea of her driving by herself really scares me. We have been driving together for sometime now. She drives home everyday from Lehi on the freeway and does a fairly good job. It does make me nervous though. I find myself clenching onto the passenger door getting ready to grab the wheel at any time. I have to remind myself to relax and that she will do a better job if I show confidence in her abilities.
Early on in her first experiences of driving, she had an accident. Luckily, it was just in our garage and in only wrecked some of the shelving and my front bumper. It scared me and scared her. It was a very cliche moment. She pulled into the garage nice and slow, did a great job and went to put on the brake, got confused and stepped on the gas. This was the result..
I am glad it did not scare her away from driving. But, when she pulls into the driveway I am always a bit nervous. So, I know that practice makes perfect. But, I still feel my heart racing every time she gets behind the wheel.
I am a big believer in that everything happens for a reason. It doesn't mean that I always know the reason at that moment or even in that year but I think that I can choose for all my experiences to be something I can learn from.
Yesterday was Constitution Day.. I think lots of people don't really care to much about that day. In fact, as I was typing this my son said " what is Constitution Day?" Well, atleast I was one of those people. I truly know very little about the Constitution or the Declaration of Independance. But, I have committed to change those things. I really have wanted to learn more about it. I know it is more than just a historical document. But, I wasn't sure where to go to learn more about it and how it affects me today..
Well, we have been introduced to a lecture series called "The Healing of America." It was written by Cleon Skousen and is being presented by Glen J. Kimber. For those of you who do not know, Cleon Skousen is a well known author who has written many books on America and the state of it. Dr. Kimber is his son in law. I am very excited for this series to start. If you want more information about it, you can go to http://www.healingofamerica.org
I know that I want to become proactive on learning more about these things and here is a great way for me to do it..
So, we have now been in our new home for one week. Well, tonight we were all sitting in the kitchen. Off of my kitchen, we have a deck which overlooks a park. We heard a loud crash. It sounded like my deck was coming off of the house. I ran out on the deck not realizing that the screen has been pulled shut and knocked it off the tracks. The deck seemed fine but, it was just getting dark and I could see what looked like a headlight in the grass at the park about 40 yards away from me. Jonathan yells "call 911" and sprints out the front door. I called 911 but did not have much information to give them. I could tell it was a motorcycle in the grass and it looked like there was a man laying in the road. That is what I told her but she wanted more information. I made my way over to the man and he looked bad. He had no helmet on and Jonathan was trying to ask him questions but he spoke very little English. (these are times when I really wish I spoke more spanish.) He was bleeding from the head and that is what I told the dispatch. Four policeman showed up right away but it seemed like forever before the ambulance came.
On further inspection we could see that he skidded off the road onto our lawn and hit a power box. His motorcycle flew forward about 50 feet but he flew another 40 feet. It was nuts. Anyway, the ambulance came and luckily one of our neighbors spoke fluent spanish and was able to speak with him and find out if he had an allergies or had been drinking. It was quite an experience.
This is our new home. We have spent the better part of a week getting moved in. We are not quite out yet. We still have all those little odds and ends, the things you are not quite sure what to do with. But, we are so glad to be getting settled. My house is still in a bit of chaos trying to get things organized. I hate chaos. I have worked very diligently on getting it together and do not feel so overwhelmed by it. My backyard backs into a huge park and directly north of me is Evergreen cemetery. It's a great neighborhood and my kids already have lots of friends because it is back in our old ward. So, lets have a party!!
This weekend I have had a blast. To start off, we had Jonathan's cousin Tyler, his girlfriend Emily and our sister in law Amy over for banana splits and a game of Apples to Apples. Tyler is visiting from BYU Idaho. It was lots of fun and we are glad they decided to come and hang out with us old married people. 
In Springville they have a thing called Cub Soccer. It is the beginning league for 4 and 5 year olds. Today was Haylee's first game. It was so much fun to watch.. They only had 3 players from each team on the field at once and they played on a field that was only 30 yards long and 20 yards wide. The kids didn't care who won.. They just wanted to play and have their treat. Haylee absolutely loved it.
Haylee is in the line-up to kick the ball. Well, I guess they all are, considering there are only 3 players on each team.
Go get the ball Haylee!!!
She is taking a break and getting a drink.
She was in charge of the treats for her first game. She picked fruit roll-ups and Caprisuns.
Since Aubrey and Devin were little, Jonathan has been their buckin Bronco. Every night after prayers, he would get down on all fours and act like he is a buckin Bronco and try to knock the kids off of his back. Aubrey and Devin are both to big for it but Jerin and Haylee still love it....
Last night as I was helping Jerin say his prayers, I looked in on his Russian dwarf gerbil, Buddy. I usually look in on him nightly because he liked to come up to the opening of the cage so that we can pet him. He was a very friendly gerbil. Well, after 2 long years of living in Jerin's room, he died.... We think of dehydration as his water bottle was empty. Jerin is having a hard time with it.. When he woke up this morning he asked if we put some water in his mouth if he would come alive again? He also wanted to know why we have animals if they only stay in cages and than die?
As all the kids around us are getting ready to start school tomorrow, mine will not be. This year through much thought and prayer by both Jonathan and I, we have decided to pull our children out of government schools. I will be homeschooling Jerin and Haylee. Aubrey and Devin will go to an LDS based private school. There were many reasons why we made this decision but, the biggest one that stood out the most for us was that I wanted the gospel of Jesus Christ to be taught in their school subjects. For me, this is an important factor in their learning. I know this choice is not right for everyone, but it is right for our family. I am very excited and nervous to be making such a big transition. So many exciting things have presented themselves to us lately that I feel and know that the Lords hand is a part of. This is one of those things.
"The Power is Within You" is one of the books that I am now reading. I came across a chapter that is entitled "How to Love Yourself" I wanted to share something from this chapter that I thought was very right for me. She gives 10 ways to love yourself.
Today is Jerin's 10th birthday. My third child has reached the double digits. Jerin is my child that always has a smile on his face. He cracks jokes constantly, has a very curious mind and a great imagination. When he was about 3, he had an imaginary friend that he named Canderlion who lived in the mountains. He stayed with Jerin for about a year. When we moved away from Logan his friend stayed there. He loves to read and learn and I am so thankful that the Lord has given me stewardship over such an amazing child.
So today has been a strange day. I have felt sadness most of the day, wanting to be by myself.. Trying to understand why I still feel this way. It has been 5 years tomorrow since the passing of Joel. It is sort of strange because this is the first year that his anniversary actually falls on the same day of the week that he passed. So, I have been thinking about his amazing life not his death. I miss him terribly. I remember we were together the night of Saturday the 9th in 2003, exactly 5 years from this day. Jonathan, myself, Kristy and Joel were helping Lindsey and Keith move into their new apartment in Salt Lake. We spent the whole evening together having fun laughing. Joel would carry 3 boxes on top of each other down the ramp of the Uhaul. I remember cautioning him to be careful... It was such a great memory. He was always the practical joker, willing to help someone in need, the person that would pick up the hitchhikers and take them as far as he could or help someone fix their car. He lived everyday in the NOW. I love him so much. He is as always an example of how I want to live my life, in the now. To be glad for today..... I celebrate his wonderful life because it was that..
